How to Advise Teenagers – Adolescence is a period when a person is experiencing emotional turmoil and behavior that is often unpleasant, especially for parents. Sometimes, indeed we will be confused about how to give good advice to teenagers without pushing them away from their parents.
According to a study published in the Journal of Child Development, 40 percent of children will experience behavioral problems, such as uncontrolled, moody, and aggressive emotions, in their early teens (starting at age 12). Therefore, parents need extra patience in advising their teenagers. The following are ways that parents can use to advise their teenage children.
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How to Advise Teenagers
There are several ways that you as a parent can counsel your teen without creating ongoing conflict. These ways can also be done as steps you can take in advising them. Check out the following ways.
1. Know the Cause
When you encounter a problem, whether caused by a teenager or a problem he is experiencing, don't get scolded right away, try to listen to their explanations and reasons first.
Their explanations can indicate the meaning of the behavior or feelings they are experiencing. Oftentimes, the intent of them doing something wrong is to want to help or do good, but it may not be the right way.
2. Be a Good Listener
As explained earlier, sometimes a child makes a mistake with good intentions and wants to help. Therefore, be a good listener to them.
It's better if you listen first, understand the point, and give proper direction slowly and gently so that they don't feel pressured and become reluctant to help or do good in the future.
3. Don't talk at length
After understanding the problem and listening to them well, of course you want to teach them a more appropriate way or how you feel about their behavior. It's a good idea not to explain or talk to them at length about this. It is better to provide a clear, concise, and clear explanation. It's also good to practice it directly so that it is easier for them to understand what they should do.
If you talk too long, brands are less likely to listen and instead perceive your "talk" as too difficult to remember. By being short, clear, and emphatic, you can impart that understanding to them more easily.
4. Firm, Not Loud
Educating Firmly and educating Hard are two different things. Educating hard will not give you a way to understand the child's will. On the other hand, being tough will only increase the distance between you and them. Meanwhile, assertiveness can make a child shy, without reducing the warmth and honor he feels when he is with and towards his parents.
You can show a firm attitude by giving him support and attention to the positive things he does. However, if your child behaves negatively and violates your trust, make sure that he knows that any negative behavior will have consequences.
5. Be Someone He Can Rely on
Going through adolescence isn't easy, and you've definitely been through it. Unpleasant experiences, such as bullying or bullying, appearance problems, lack of confidence, poor academic grades, often make a teenager close himself to others, including their parents.
Therefore, be someone he can rely on and trust. Teenagers tend to listen to people they trust or can feel comfortable with. So if you want them to listen to your advice, be the one who is always there and ready to help with patience and openness.
6. Get to know your child more deeply
To make it easier to understand a teenager. Even though you and they may not share the same hobbies, parents need to get to know the world they enjoy. For example, if he likes theatre, try taking him to a theater show in your city once in a while.
Show that you also pay attention to what they like and of course support what they like, as long as it's a positive thing.
7. Avoid Aggressive Attitude
When advising a teenager, stay away from aggressive behavior as much as possible. Besides being imitated by children, this attitude will not make you heard by him. On the other hand, it will only make your child drift away from you and lose respect.
Every time you invite your child to talk, show a calm and patient attitude. However, if at that time your emotions are difficult to control, postpone the conversation. Resume when you have completely calmed down. It's better to delay giving advice than to get angry with them.
Those are some ways of advising teens that can help you maintain a good relationship with them while teaching them how to be good, intelligent, and wise adults.
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